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Valley humour can be dark, self-deprecating and often incomprehensible to outsiders.Here are some samples:
Q. What do they call a Sirhowy boy with
an ' O ' level in Woodwork?A. Professor
Jim had a terrible accident with a lawnmower and all his fingers were completely severed.
When he was being treated in Casualty the doctor said -
" If you had brought your fingers in with you, Mr.Davies, maybe we could have sewed some back on "
" I did think of that " said Jim " But I couldn't pick 'em up "
Dai won a free ticket to the Rugby World Cup but when he got to the stadium he found his seat was for the last row, and it was way up top. He couldn't see the game, so he began looking around.
Closer to the field he saw an empty seat, so he decided to go down.
He reached the seat and asked the man next to the unoccupied seat if anyone was sitting there. The man replied, "No."
So Dai sat down and struck up a conversation. "Who would have a seat right next to the field and not come?"
The man answers, "Oh, that was my wife's seat."
"Where is she?" Dai asked.
"She died suddenly."
"Oh, I'm sorry...didn't you have anyone else to come with you, a brother or friend?"
"No, they couldn't come."
"Why not?"
"They're all at the funeral."
Mary says to Will :
"Shall we have my mother for Christmas this year ?"
"Sure - why not?" says Will
"It'll be a change from turkey"
A young girl goes into the doctor's office and tells him that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes on her elbow and screams in agony.
She then pushes on her knee and screams, pushes on her ankle and screams...and so it goes. No matter where she touches herself her agony is apparent.
The doctor says, "You're from Cefn Fforest, aren't you? "
"Yes" she says " How can you tell?"
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."Albert was guest speaker at the local Rugby club's Annual dinner. Arriving at the club,however,he was horrified to discover he'd left his false teeth at home.
Whilst explaining his predicament to the Club Chairman,an onlooker intervened. "I think I may be able to help" he said and reaching into his pocket brought out three sets of false teeth.
Albert was delighted to find one of the sets fitted perfectly and he was able to carry out his speech which was a great success.
After the function he found the Club Chairman at the bar. "Where's that dentist?" he said. "I really must buy him a drink for helping me out"
The Chairman looked at him in surprise.
"Dentist?" he said "That's no dentist - he's the local undertaker"
Henry, a business man from London visits Wales for a conference.
On his return, the Managing Director says "How did you enjoy your trip to Wales?"
Henry - "The place is full of rugby players and prostitutes!"
Managing Director "My wife is Welsh!"
Henry - "What position does she play?"(Sent in by"arfer")
There were two Cefn Fforest lads standing on the edge of the 'Rocking Stone' at Markham.
Dai has two budgies on his shoulder, Wayne has two parrots.
Dai jumps straight off and races to the fast approaching valley floor!
Dai crashes with a thud and the budgies lie dead beside him.
Wayne jumps straight off as well. He too races to the valley floor. The two parrots on his shoulder fly off.
Wayne pulls out a pistol and shoots both birds dead. Moments later he crashes next to Dai.
In a short while both men regain their consciousness.
Dai say to Wayne, ' I don't think much of this budgie jumping!'
Wayne replies, 'No, I don't think much of this parrot-shooting either!'
( Sent in by Rhyd )
Do you know any "Valley" type jokes ? ( reasonably clean! ) E mail me at: sirhowylad@hotmail.com
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